End-of-Life Planning When You’re Afraid to Begin: A Death Doula’s Gentle Guide
I spend a lot of time in the presence of death. I sit with people who are dying, support the people who love them, and watch families make tender decisions in rooms where time suddenly feels very short. You might think that being this close to death makes planning for my own death easier. It […]
How to Make a Death Mood Board: A Creative End-of-Life Planning Exercise
Every day before I go out into the world to live my life, I spend a few minutes looking at my death mood board. My gaze might fall on a quote by Marcus Aurelius: “Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly.” Or it might […]
How Can a Death Doula Help with Grief and Loss?
Grief and loss don’t always begin when someone dies. Sometimes, they begin much earlier. When someone we love is diagnosed with a serious illness, we may begin grieving the future we imagined together. We may grieve changes in their health, independence, personality, or ability to communicate. And when a death happens suddenly, grief can arrive […]
How to Reduce Death Anxiety Through Death Contemplation
What would happen if you stopped avoiding thoughts about death? Many of us avoid thinking about death or dying at all costs. We don’t want to spend our precious living moments imagining what it would be like to die—or to lose someone we love. As a death doula, I see two things again and again: […]
I Didn’t Know Death Doulas Existed Until I Needed One
At the time in my life when I most needed a death doula, I didn’t even know they existed. The role wasn’t yet featured in TV shows or touted by celebrities as their next career path. I was 100% focused on taking care of my seriously ill mother. And I assumed and believed that the […]
Welcome to Cardinal Light: How I Overcame Limitation and Loss to Become a Death Doula
Most people come to end-of-life work after a loss.I did too—through two kinds of surrender: first to chronic pain, and later to my mother’s dying. Between them, I learned that when we feel powerless, intention can be the difference between fear and presence. In mid-life, I was blindsided by a chronic pain condition that came […]